Thursday I witnessed my first tsunami and it was horrible beyond words- of course this all took place in my mind but nonetheless I witnessed one. I am an artist and I go through bouts of am I doing it right?- am I wasting my time?- Should I build a bomb shelter and hide from the cruel, cold world and then I shoot a perfect picture and for a few hours I am happy. I don't think I have been happy all day, continuously, in years. I always look for things to improve, something I should read to get a better understanding. I'll wake up at 3am to take a quick walk, not the safest but it clears this jungle of a mind of mine.

I prayed on Thursday, I meditated and read not only bible scriptures but some buddhist quotes. I asked for a sign that this art thing is for me and its mine to claim. I woke up Friday morning with 4 agency models requesting shoots- by saturday night I had 3 bands request shoots and Sunday night I received another two agency models requesting shoots- Im actually nervous/scared but excited at the same time. I asked and I received, I do not believe God would have placed these opportunities before me if I were not ready for the challenge. February 1st I will begin to push my portfolio to agencies around the world.

Tonight I drove around with my best friend, looking for inspiration and recluse locations amid colourful leaves that tell you that is autumn and shimmering water with logs floating about. Financially spent but soul rich from hours of laughter and mindless fun. I feel as if I am on the brink of something big but I must prove to myself that I'm worthy of the job. Preparation mixed with opportunity is success. I have to be up in a few hours for a shoot with a girl with freckles and big curls, Im so excited that sleep is not coming easily.

"waste not want not"..I shall not waste my talent.